


Fantasy vs. Reality

by joeyjames (lilyandjoey)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Relationships Are Messy, the power of haircuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-07
Updated: 2011-12-07
Packaged: 2017-10-27 01:32:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyandjoey/pseuds/joeyjames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of starting her sixth year at Hogwarts, Ginny was sent from place to place to keep her safe. A few months into her enforced ‘visits’ to members of the Order of the Phoenix, Ginny was sent to stay with Tonks. Both home and host were a total mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fantasy vs. Reality

A few days after Bill and Fleur’s wedding, Ginny sat at the dressing table in her bedroom brushing her hair. It came down almost to her waist now, swishing behind her. She put the brush down and picked up a hair tie. Ginny pulled her hair into a loose ponytail and secured it with the tie. Slowly and neatly she plaited her hair and secured it at the bottom with another hair tie. She looked at herself steadily in the mirror for a few seconds, steeling herself. Then she picked up the scissors, held her hair firmly with the other hand and started cutting above the plait. It was a strange sensation, once it was done, sitting with scissors still in one hand and the neat plait in her lap. It was heavy in her hand and her head felt light and free. Ginny smiled and put both scissors and plait into the drawer of her dressing table.

She fished the Muggle money Hermione had given her ‘in case of emergency’ out of a battered shoe in her wardrobe and counted it. To be honest, she had no idea if it was a lot of money or not. She had never been interested in the exchange rate, and you never knew with Hermione. Harry seemed to think her parents were quite wealthy, but Hermione had never shown any interest in money unless it was going to buy her a book. She decided to take it all. Ginny managed to sneak out of the house undetected which she was quite proud of. She walked over the hill to the next Muggle village and went in search of a hairdresser. She had already made the decision to ask them to do something exciting with her hair and to show no surprise at anything that happened.

An hour and a half later, Ginny was walking back to the Burrow with a new haircut and a smug smile. It had cost her less than half the money that Hermione had given her. The rest was now hidden in her bra so that her parents wouldn’t find it. Looking in the mirror at the hairdressers, Ginny had decided that short hair really suited her. It also made the way she dressed look more deliberate. With long hair, it had been fairly obvious that her family had no money. Her clothes looked shabby and old. With her funky new haircut, her patched jeans and old blouse looked like a statement. Hermione might not have been thrilled at emergency money being spent on a haircut, but Ginny felt justified.

Her mum, on the other hand, was not pleased by Ginny’s little trip. In fact, it would be fair to say that she was furious that her only daughter had disappeared for the afternoon on her own at a time like this. Especially to cut off her beautiful hair. She then informed Ginny that she would be going to stay with Charlie for a couple of weeks so that she wouldn’t have to go back to school. Ginny was understandably mutinous at the prospect, more so when she discovered that after her trip to Romania she would be visiting Bill and Fleur, followed by a visit to Kingsley Shacklebolt. She felt like an unwanted parcel and wished like mad that Harry, Ron and Hermione had taken her with them.

~~~~~~~

A few months into her enforced ‘visits’ to members of the Order of the Phoenix, Ginny was sent to stay with Tonks. Both home and host were a total mess. Remus had walked out a short while ago, Ginny wasn’t sure how long, and Tonks was clearly not coping. The poor woman was pregnant and alone. Ginny soon found herself cooking, cleaning and generally looking after both of them. Whoever had decided to send her here had been clever – Tonks needed looking after and they couldn’t spare anyone, Ginny would feel obliged to help and therefore not attempt to run away. Despite knowing this, Ginny still couldn’t bring herself to leave. For once in her life someone needed her.

It took Ginny less than a week to realise that she had a crush on her host. After the way she had embarrassed herself over Harry, she recognised a schoolgirl crush when she saw one. Or rather felt one. It was fairly stupid, she knew, to fancy someone ten years older than herself who was married and pregnant. She was confused by her feelings for Tonks – sometimes Ginny didn’t know if she wanted to have Tonks or be her. She consoled herself by reminding herself that it was all hypothetical anyway. Neither was going to happen.

Even in her depression, Tonks was mesmerising. Maybe it was the Metamorphmagus thing. The fact that Tonks could be whoever she wanted to be and yet still chose to be herself. Maybe it was the way she still made light of things and tried to make Ginny laugh. Maybe it was the vulnerability with which she wept on the kitchen floor at 3am until Ginny came and took her back to bed, sitting with her until she finally fell asleep two hours later. Maybe it was all these things and more.

In the short weeks Ginny spent in the little flat, she enjoyed Tonks’ full attention. She received an education in the world of what her brothers referred to as ‘angry girl music’ both wizard and Muggle. Tonks even gave her some old band T-shirts which she had outgrown. They matched Ginny’s usual wardrobe well – threadbare and torn, but she cherished them as if they were made of the finest silk. She knew she was being silly, but she felt special.

As she grew more accustomed to her temporary life, Ginny fell into a routine. She cleaned the flat regularly, mending things Tonks had broken through clumsiness, despair or rage. She cooked for them both, making shopping lists for Tonks when necessary. She threw out what little alcohol there was in the flat. Ordinarily she would have recommended vodka as a cure for a broken heart, but Tonks was pregnant and Ginny thought it best to remove temptation. It was strange that she was so happy and proficient at housework when she hated doing chores for her mum. It was different here though – Tonks needed her. The flat was a lot cleaner with her here. And she had spent the first few days convincing Tonks that a shower and change of clothes might be nice. It felt like she was actually making a difference, making progress.

~~~~~~~

Ginny knew she was in way over her head the day Tonks came home from the supermarket looking for all the world like Harry’s long lost sister. It was incredibly unnerving and not something she had anticipated having to deal with. Not for the first time, she hoped desperately that Remus would pull his head out of his arse and come home. Ginny just knew that he would find a way to make it all okay – the man could solve almost any problem with the offer of tea or chocolate and a few soothing words.

She didn’t understand what had brought this on. Tonks had been getting better, she was sure of it. She wasn’t hysterical every night anymore, more like once a week. They had been having fun too. Listening to music, talking, playing chess and exploding snap. She knew she must be gaping like a fish but she couldn’t think what else to do.

“Do you miss him?”

Ginny wasn’t sure how to respond. The truth – that no, she didn’t miss him, that actually being with Harry was rather a disappointment – probably wouldn’t help. Lying – yes I miss him terribly – wouldn’t help either. She stood up and walked towards Tonks, desperately trying to think of something to say. Tonks apparently didn’t need an answer.

“I miss him,” Tonks said softly.

It didn’t take a genius to realise that Tonks wasn’t talking about Harry anymore. Still lost for words, Ginny hugged Tonks, expecting her to break down and cry, just as she had in those first few days. To her surprise, Tonks pulled back and kissed her hard.

It was nothing like kissing Harry, or even a female version of Harry. In her fantasies, this moment had been quite different. For a start, she was kissing Tonks as she usually was, with short pink hair and changing eyes. Not with long brown hair, green eyes and a lightning bolt on her forehead. Fantasy Tonks wasn’t married. Her stomach wasn’t swollen with someone else’s child. And she wasn’t crying. It was all wrong, horribly wrong, but Ginny kissed her back, because she didn’t know what else to do. A few minutes later, she was where she had expected to be – sitting on the floor; holding a Tonks who was sobbing uncontrollably and now looked like a watery version of Sirius.

It was in this moment that Ginny realised that everything was incredibly and irrevocably fucked up. And that there wasn’t a lot she could do about it.


End file.
